A few times now, I’ve attempted to do this cute little weekly best player thing called Boyfriend of the Week, but I’ve been really bad at keeping up with it and I think I would get tired of Ryan Johansen being my boyfriend every single week. However, I had this fantastic idea to mix it up, almost like a fantasy tracker. Here’s how it works.
- Boyfriend Try-Out Contract: A player must do one (1) Awesome Thing to even earn a BTO. He is not officially in the standings, but one more awesome thing will get him a full time gig. If Curtis McElhinney is awesome one time all season and never duplicates the effort, he is perpetually stuck in this circle of hell. Sorry, McBackup.
- Standard Boyfriend Contract: He’s earned his tryout and capitalized on it by completing Awesome Thing Number Two. Now he’s officially “in the game” – but with zero points.
- Okay, how do you get points? This is where it gets subjective. This is my boyfriend we’re talking about, so I get to make up the rules, right? (We all date differently, you jerk.) They must do Awesome Things in order to progress higher in the standings. Much like Whose Line is it Anyway, the points are kind of just made up as we go along. Awesome Things include, but are not limited to:
- Game-winning goals, multi-goal games, momentum-changing fights/hits, shutouts. Each is worth an individual point.
- Dominating over the course of a streak. Goal streaks, shutout streaks (Bob.), a noticeable uptick in overall level of play. These things count for the amount of points the streak continues. So if Corey Tropp is suddenly really noticeably good for four games, he gets +4. If Nathan Horton scores three goals in three games, he gets a +3.
- Doing something really awesome off the ice, as when Cam showed up with tickets for people standing in line during the playoffs. If a guy steals the show with a classy performance at Black Tie Blue Jackets, he might get a couple of merit points. Stuff like that.
- You do not get points for being totally adorable or charmingly handsome or a really nice guy, because that only counts in Real Life and this is for funsies. So, Alexander Wennberg, you do not have an unfair advantage here.
- So, what do you get for winning? Geez Louise, you’re needy. The guy who has the most amount of points at the end of the season is my Boyfriend. Duh. Or, in normal people, un-fun terms, he’s the guy I designate MVP and will get to enjoy the entire summer of 2015 knowing that I thought he was the most righteous dude on the team. That’s an honor.