- Hip, hip, hooray! “@tomba19: #CBJ Kristian Huselius (hand) has been scratched for tonight’s game”
– “Rick Nash has struggled since coming back from the Olympics.” Hey, maybe if he practiced. And actually played when he showed up.
– “Indoors here at the Staples Center.” Yeah, because we thought this might be an outdoor venue in SoCal.
– Rick Nash is slow. Not that this is news, but Russ was a good 10′ behind him and beat him to the net.
– First shot of the game credited to Vermette.
– Well, shit. Hey Fedor Tyutin play DEFENSE?! Perhaps?!
– Our offense is a clusterfuck tonight.
– I will say it again, Fedor Tyutin? DEFENSE?!
– I did not say Fedor Tyutin take a penalty.
– Whoa, nice shorthanded flurry there, too bad Vermette lost control of it.
– Stralman on PK makes me want to regurgitate my tasty dinner. I hope I saw that incorrectly.
– Nope, I didn’t see that wrong. :(
– Pahlsson is 3/3 in the faceoff circle tonight, with 8:17 to go in the first.
– Davidge just Miami-dropped! 12:10 into the game. Zatkoff, not Boyle.
– Good push by Jake.
– Um, Drew Doughboy, don’t eat the puck. 2-0 LA.
– For fuck’s sake, boys, stay out of the box!
– …fail. 3-0.
– LOL. 4-0. Yep. Thanks for nothing, Mason.
– Garon in, 4:41 to go in the first.
– First period stats: 3 shots on goal (3 missed, 3 blocked); Blunden had 4 hits before his penalty (team hits: 14); Vermette is 3 of 10 in the dot, Pahlsson 3 of 4.
– 5-0, and I’m putting the liveblog to bed. And myself.

  • This funky lighting is balls.
  • Methot/Hejda: let’s see how long they can last before they’re in the minus on the night.
  • I approve of Mason’s new helmet, and the “MASE” plate is much nicer than that very juvenile font it was in before. I judge you if you use ugly fonts. Also I’m glad it’s the “old” plate, and not the yeehaw farm plates we have now. (Dear ODOT, some of us live in cities.)
  • Hey, Marc Methot remembered how to be physical! A+ fella.
  • LOL, Huselis, why do you even exist?
  • Aw, Staubitz wants to destroy Jared Boll’s face.
  • As usual, Jared Boll gets his face clobbered in. But at least he actually landed a few himself.
  • Derek Dorsett, I heart you.
  • Kris Russell did his dipsydoodle on Joe Thornton, and Joe was like, “I’m too old for this shit!”
  • Ooh, a new Davidgeism: “As hot as it gets.”
  • 6 minutes in, and Kris Russell and Jan Hejda are tied with two hits apiece.
  • Hahaha, poor Brass, his parents went on the road trip without him.
  • Ohh, look, we had control of the puck in San Jose’s zone. For approximately six seconds.
  • Almost ten minutes in, we’re being outshot 7-1. Our one shot: Michael Blunden, the dentally-challenged call-up.
  • Shot #2 belongs to Andrew Murray.
  • Uh, did Rick Nash take an optional?
  • Do we really care about the Agnew family’s birthday situation?
  • “That puck gets away from Rick Nash.” … I don’t even need to say anything.
  • Kris Russell has his eyes on Dany Heatley tonight. He wants to fuck some Shark shit up.
  • How in the motherfuck did that not get called?! Staubitz, you’re a douchebag.
  • “That guy is a Sean Avery level tool.” – @aka_elvis on Staubitz.
  • This PP makes me want to vomit. Guys, I just gagged.
  • I’m all about this increased responsibility but Jared Boll on the PP? Uh, no.
  • First Period CBJ stars: Andrew Murray & Mike Blunden.
  • First Period miscellany: Anton Stralman had two giveaways; only Andrew Murray (1 for 1) is above 50% in the faceoff dot; hits are in SJ favor 15-14; Dorsett leads Jackets with 3 hits; team was outshot 13-5 – three of which were by defensemen.
  • SCORE! ANDREW MURRAY! Hell of a play by Umberger to set him up!
  • Every time Derek Dorsett runs his mouth with a smirk on his face, an angel gets its wings.
  • Momentum in the CBJ favor now.
  • Did somebody just to ride Russell like a pony?
  • Memo to Claude Noel: Please keep Weighty on a line with Jake and RJ. Thanks.
  • Sammy Pahlsson is 0/4 on the dot tonight, bad bad bad.
  • “As good as it gets” count: 1. That can’t be right.
  • “They’re looking at things going to the net.” Preferrably themselves and the puck?!
  • Good penalty, it was worth it. I said it first.
  • I wonder where Dan Boyle went to college? I wish Davidge would tell me. :(
  • Hell of a block by Vermette. Good on you, boy. Whoa, Nash too! Second period must have been mandatory!
  • Joe Thornton, you don’t scare all 5’4″, 95 pounds of Kris Russell. You’ve lost your touch. Beotch.
  • Russ is up to 4 hits on the night,  leading the team w/6:34 to go in the second. I’m predicting 6 for Lil Shake.
  • Also fond of the 11-26-15 line tonight.
  • Good net presence on the PK.
  • You can see the sweat seeping through the Sharks’ jerseys. Sexy.
  • Second Period Star: Andrew Murray, undoubtedly.
  • 60 Minute Stats: Russell/Pahlsson each have four hits; 12 blocked shots by the team; Murray is 3 for 4 on faceoffs – still the only player above 50%; Blunden and Murray each have 3 shots; Anton Stralman leads the team with 14:09 of ice time; Mike Commodore led the team with 8:43 in the second period.
  • Steve Mason must have mono again, he looks like he did last year.
  • ARE YOU KIDDING ME, whoaaaaaa, thank goodness for Steve Mason spreading his legs! (That’s what she said.)
  • Daaaaaamn it. PPG for San Jose. Take a flying leap, Heatley.
  • Ah, bonehead penalty by Mike Commodore, followed by the mouth running. Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Commodore is officially back.
  • Dorsett with 5 hits  now, Murray/Umberger 4 shots apiece. Midway through the third.
  • Rick Nash has 0 hits. 0 shots. 2 giveaways.
  • What a load of shit penalty, thanks Joe Thornton for shoving Jan Hejda.
  • Awesome, time for Toronto to fuck us over like the referees are…
  • …whoa, really?
  • Huselius is soft.
  • DAMMIT. >:O
  • Joe Thornton is the biggest fucking bitch on the ice. Could you cry a little more? Did Sidney Crosby teach you that pussy shit in the Olympics?
  • Aw, you got a penalty, Sharks! Imagine that.
  • Piss poor third period. I mean, not really, but like… shit for luck, stupid penalties, ugh.
  • Ending stats: 37 hits by the team (5 each by Dorsett and Methot) – 36 by SJ; 22 total SOG; all regular centremen ended up 50% or better – Murray was 6 of 9 for 67%; Mason made 42 stops; Jan Hejda had 4 blocked shots (17 by the team); in 19:49, all Rick Nash did on the scoresheet was commit two turnovers and lose a faceoff.
  • Final score: San Jose 2, CBJ 1.